I'm a Window Freak

I'm sitting here mesmerized by the blowing, swirling snow flakes outside.  Really, I feel like I'm sitting in a snow globe that someone shook up.  I'm watching the snow flurries, and the birds fighting for a position on the feeder, instead of writing.

 Well okay, I was watching.  But I should be writing.  So I decided I better do both.

It probably doesn't help that I have, and need to have, my main floor laptop where I can see out of a big wall window and a door that is mostly a window.  Even if I'm in the loft, I have my PC on my desk and my chair sitting as close to the edge as is humanly possible without falling off so I can look down and out the same windows.  Curtains?  What are they?  The sky lights in the loft are cool, but there's not much to see out of them unless there are cool clouds or a thunderstorm.

There's always something to see, besides dog, cat and grandkids nose and fingerprints on the windows themselves.  Mother Nature does provide in that area.  If it wasn't winter, I'd be out on the deck, patio, gardens or yard -- from the time it gets light outside until it's to dark to see.  Rain and warm?   Put up the umbrella or not, I haven't melted yet.

I wonder if there is a phobia name for this?  Whatever the reason, if I can't be outside, I want to see outside!

  Actually, maybe I can blame it on my Mom.  I think her favorite saying was, " Take it outside"!  That was usually said after I'd brought a critter of some kind in to play with.  Not that this was a difficult thing to do.  When you grow up on a Farm, there's always something to do.  There was the hayloft for rainy days, or nasty cold snowy days in the winter.  There's usually cats and kittens for a kid to play with up there.

But my favorite place was with my horse.  I grew up on one, riding with my Grampa before I could walk.  I'll never forget the day he and my Dad went to the livestock auction.  I always got to go along, but not this time.  It was one of my favorite places to go -- all the different animals to see and oh, the pens of horses to want every one.  I wanted my own.  I must have been 5 or so I'm told.  I'm not sure what excuse I was given for having to stay home, I just remember being heartbroken.

 I'm told I had to be coaxed to go out to the barn that night to see the calves they brought home.  I guess I was a bit stubborn even back then.  That was one day I shouldn't have been so ornery because waiting for me tied on the barn floor was my very own pony.  Talk about speechless -- probably one of the few times in my life.  I was totally in love with a shaggy little Welsh  pony with blue eyes.  I named it Tinker.

 It was mine, all mine!  I don't think I ever had to be told to "take it outside" again.  I would have moved into the barn if I could have.  If I wasn't in the barn I was out riding in the pasture.  It was a love that has lasted my whole life.

If you're not a horse person it's something one doesn't understand.  It's something that gets in your heart and soul and never leaves.  The freedom of riding like the wind by the seat of your pants with an animal that's a whole lot bigger than you.  The friendship and trust that's needed between man and beast every time you climb on.

Oh, there's work too.  You gotta love 'em to get out there and muck stalls, feed and water every morning and night, doesn't matter if your sick or it's nasty out, you're depended on.  But there's nothing like walking in the barn or out in the pasture early in the morning and being greeted by a nicker and a nuzzle and the smell of fresh hay, knowing they are waiting for you.

 My Mom taught me to be a lady, or she tried as best she could with a total tomboy.

My Dad taught me my first lesson in responsibility with that pony.  He also showed me, over the years, that though I was a girl I could do anything.  I often heard "If you have the will, you'll find a way"


My Dad died a year ago this day I write this.  He and his life lessons are dearly missed.


What does all this really have to do with windows?  I started out by day dreaming while looking out, but instead ended up with a reflection.  Windows do that too, but this was into my heart, and memories.